Ketchup On The Carpet
The relentless fascination and obsessive coverage of the Heather Mills – Paul McCartney divorce saga continues.
For me, the tomato ketchup throwing incidents have a ring of truth. They create a picture of domesticity, not on billionaire row but one which we can all relate to. I’m not sure I know anyone who’s actually thrown a ketchup bottle, but I guess that everyone I know owns one.
A ring of truth is important in any statement filed in Court. I remember an incident described as “he smashed the window with a jar of Chicken Tonight”. We changed the statement to “he smashed the window with a jar of cooking sauce called Chicken Tonight” in case the judge had never heard of Chicken Tonight. Either way it created a much more vivid picture than “he smashed the window”.
The vilification of Heather Mills is unpleasant to watch, rather like a public execution. She is a beautiful woman so references to her artificial limb are repeated ad nausea. Pity poor Anne Widdicombe, Clare Short and Sarah Ferguson who have all had terrible bashings by the press, centred on their looks. We don’t read comments about how short George Bush is and how messy his hair is, but we do get lots of articles about Condoleezza Rice’s outfits and suggestions that she may be romantically involved with various foreign counterparts. If there was less sexism a press report might read:
“George Bush, only 5 foot 8 inches tall with wiry grey hair stood with Condoleezza Rice, who looked extremely smart in a knee length tight grey skirt suit which displayed her shapely calves to good effect, getting up at 5am to work out has certainly paid off for her. George on the other hand needs to work on his abs. They greeted the president of Pakistan”.
Only their names and the last sentence are relevant. Remember that when you file a statement in Court, stick to the facts with a ring of truth, judges hate long statements – they have to read them after all!