This is my daughter at her 21st birthday bash – obviously taken early in the proceedings!
If you are going through a traumatic divorce and have been married for a long time and divorce is not what you wan,t and you feel he/she has robbed you of the best years of your life, and you don’t see any point in bothering to even put on a brave face, and you will never trust anyone again, and you think everyone is out to deceive you, and there is no pleasure in anything anymore, and you have got nothing to look forward to, and you are so angry and so miserable and nobody cares. Try this:
- List everyone you know. Next to their name give them a score – nice or nasty only on a 50/50 basis – they don’t need to be perfect. I bet you know more nice than nasty people. Erase all the nasty ones from your life – they will simply make you feel worse. If one of them is your ex – minimise contact.
- List all the people you know who make you laugh. Spend more time with them.
- List all the people you know who simply want to moan or gossip – get rid of them.
- Next write down all the people you know who could do with your help – emotional, practical is anyone you know lonely?
- Now write down all the people you love. Maybe there are a few friends or relatives who live far away that you have neglected. Now is the time to give them a call and arrange a visit.
You have now sorted out your Christmas card list and the main players at your funeral and hopefully you have moved on from your own distress albeit briefly.
Remember, most people are not evil – they are just weak and insecure – forgive them their inadequacies and move on!