Lots of people think about getting divorced for at least 2 years before they do anything about it. The main reasons for procrastination seem to be fear and guilt. Lots of people tolerate and contribute to very unhappy home lives for a long time before they feel ready or able to make a change.
If this is you, consider that you will need emotional support when you decide to stop being part of an established couple and start being a single adult. It is useful to consider who the 5 people are that you spend the most time with. You are probably the average of them. If you do not admire them, if they moan and waste time, if they gossip and lie, if they talk big but live small then change this area of your life first.
This may mean that you change your job or your friends. It may mean that things improve when you stop having to spend time with your partner’s sister and her husband. However, make sure you surround yourself with people you admire and aspire to be like, other than people you feel sorry for.
You will need to focus on your own problems so stop rescuing other people for a while, this is often a way of avoiding facing the truth of the pain in your own life.
Also remember that in the same way everyone at work knows about inter office affairs, despite the parties believing they have kept it secret, so everyone will know you are separated. Confide in one work place colleague and the news will be out quicker than your clothes are thrown out of the bedroom window. Even if you tell no one, driving round with all your worldly goods in the back of your car is a huge give away!