The Daily Mail has a Senior High Court Judge announcing that he has launched a campaign to promote marriage.
His view on marriage:
“It involves endless hard work, compromises, forgiveness and love. However right the person is, they might not be right two years later. It doesn’t matter how wonderful you appear to be to your partner at the beginning, you will begin to display faults that we all have.
“In order for a relationship to last, you have to hang in there and adjust and change and alter and understand. Long, stable marriages are carved out of the rock of human stubbornness and selfishness and difficulties.”
He says we need to end the Hello style divorce and the increase in older couples getting divorced is disturbing – adult children in their 20s and 30s can still be hurt.
My aunt got divorced after 40 years of marriage and misery and her 6 children all supported. My uncle was, let’s say a lovable rouge. My aunt is now in a much happier marriage and my uncle… he is dead… Wait for someone to die then? Die miserable yourself?
People now live longer,if you are born today you can expect to live until you are 104, life is easier and the focus on survival and mutual need is gone. Plus since the 1970s women have had equal rights. So, if you marry when you are in your early twenties (as I did) you can expect to be with your partner for 80 years.
Lots of people marry the wrong person and for the wrong reason. People change so much and can grow in opposite directions. In my experience nobody takes the decision to divorce lightly, but equally nobody regrets it.
Since my first divorce I have made it my quest to find a long term happy couple… my parents seem to have an affectionate regard for one another but apart from that I have drawn a blank. Again, in my experience many of those who present a united front seethe with hatred in private or live totally separate lives.
Marriage is expensive and so is divorce, emotionally as well as financially.
What if you could marry for 10 years and then choose whether to remarry for a further 10 years or split? What if the Government made laws that made it clear what would happen to your money and your children when you split? What if Judges offered similar judgements that we could all follow? What if people who lived together had even limited financial responsibility for each other on separation? What if everybody married for love? What if there were no gold diggers, wife beaters, horrid, mean controlling people, liars, cheats and thieves? What if…